4 Reasons Porn is Bad for Your Marriage.
According to Covenant Eyes, roughly 12 million men and 3.5 million women identify as porn addicts. Many of these men and women are married, and studies show that porn usage is likely a strong predictor of marriage dissatisfaction and potential divorce. But because it is so common, many of us have denied the negative effects it has on our marriages. Instead, we make excuses or we find ways to hide this addiction. Like with any other addiction, porn takes more from you than it gives, and it is not something you can battle on your own. You may be saying, “I can stop watching porn whenever I want. I’m not addicted.”, and although that might be true, in this blog I hope to explain to you why consuming porn is not a good idea at all. *Keep reading to the bottom to find resources for ways to quit*
Four Reasons Porn is Bad for Your Marriage:
Jesus said it was. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus stated that a man who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart. This also applies to women who look at a man lustfully. Each time a person consumes porn, they are committing adultery because the man or woman in the video does not belong to them. Sex is something to be enjoyed with your spouse, not with yourself or a technological device.
Sexual satisfaction decreases with your spouse. Watching porn can create a habit and some excitement outside of your spouse. The next time you have sex with them, it might not feel like it measures up to the hype of watching porn. Don’t be fooled by that hype; just like any addiction, it is not healthy. We were created for human connections, and sexual connection is to be shared with a husband and a wife.
It creates unrealistic expectations. The things that you see in porn are not real. The scenarios, the positions, the “pleasure”, etc., are not real. It is created to entice you and lead you to want more. Before you know it, you begin to see women and men differently. You may begin to compare your spouse’s performance or your own performance in the bedroom. This can also lead to a decreased amount of sexual satisfaction.
It diminishes trust. Like with most addictions, many people behave deceptively due to shame, guilt, or not wanting their spouse to know about it. Even if a person does not get “caught” by their spouse, sneaking around is just as bad as lying. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is bound to fail.
What can be done about it?
The app BrainBuddy is a site blocker and addiction tracker. It also helps you build community and provides educational resources.
The app Victory by Covenant Eyes is another site blocker with other resources.
There are also several scriptures that might be helpful to memorize. Here is a website with some.
Additionally, there are podcasts that can be helpful.
You can also find support groups near you on places like Psychology Today. Individual therapy is also a great way to work through it.
It is time for you to recommit yourself to your marriage. But you do not have to do it alone.
